The Traditional Paragraph

This has been a pretty low key writing week.  My current focus is on teaching some writing conventions. In particular, third graders are required to have a good understanding of what a paragraph is.  They need to be able to distinguish between a main idea and supporting details. A traditional paragraph, I told them, has a topic sentence, which carries the main idea, followed by supporting sentences that expand on the main idea.

First, I explained the difference between a detail and a big idea. I wrote a variety of sentences on the board and asked if each was a big idea or a detail. When they said "big idea", I asked for supporting details. Together, we constructed a couple of clean, conventional paragraphs. In general, this concept seemed pretty easy for the kids to grasp. I don't teach them to include a concluding sentence, because most often this sentence is not needed in a paragraph. Kids would need to have a higher level of understanding before being able to decide whether to include a concluding sentence or not. So, no need to spoil their fun yet!

Next week I will have the kids write a short narrative using paragraphs that follow the traditional structure. Personally, I don’t like to get hung up on conventions. Eight year olds should be able to express their ideas and creativity in free form.  However, it is important to guide their  thinking so that their writing is coherent. Once they’ve had some practice with constructing good paragraphs, it will be easier later on to help them revise their creative writing. I'm not into using formulaic methods like the hand image (the thumb is the main idea, the fingers the supporting sentences, and the little finger the concluding sentence). An easily grasped concept doesn't need to be hammered into them! I should point out that even though kids get this, it doesn't translate into a) practice; b) being able to pick out the topic sentence from a group of sentences. 

Now,  a brief return to last week’s assignment and how I teach struggling writers.

While the class wrote out their final drafts of their Greek Myths, I worked with each of my four struggling writers individually. These four students had written first drafts that were pretty incomprehensible. A couple of these students knew what their story was, but couldn’t express it in writing.

This is what I do:

The student and I sit together at a table. He/she reads me their story. I rewrite it using simple sentences. I try to pare the story down to about six to eight sentences. If they have trouble reading their work (which may be a jumble of words lacking coherence)I ask them to tell me the story. With appropriate prompting I manage to get a story out, which I write down using their words.  I learned this method of teaching writing (the Language Experience Approach) back when I was doing coursework for my teaching credential. I have found it to be very effective – especially for students who are still developing English fluency.

On Monday my session with one of my students went like this:

Me: Who is the hero in your story?

Student: Sandy.

Me: Tell me about Sandy in a sentence.

Student: Sandy was a hero, was a brave hero.

Me: Sandy was a brave hero. I wrote the sentence down. What happened to Sandy?

Student: There was a monster and the mother was crying.

Me: The monster’s mother was crying?

Student: No. The monster took her kid away.

Me: Oh, so that was the problem in your story.  How about you make a sentence about the monster?

Student: A monster took a kid away.

I wrote down the sentence.

Me:  Where did the monster live?

Student: In a hill, in a cave.

Me: Now tell it to me in a sentence.

Student: The monster lived in a cave.

Me: So what have written so far? Let’s read it.

Sandy was a brave hero. A monster took a kid away. The monster lived in a cave.

Then what happened?

Student: Sandy went to the cave with a club.

I wrote down her sentence.

Me: Uh-huh? And?

Student: He saw the monster and killed it.

Me: Is that the end? What about the kid?

Student: Sandy took her back to the mother.

Me: Sandy took the kid back to her mother.(I wrote).

With a pleased smile the student took her story and final draft paper to her desk to copy the sentences that she had dictated and I had written.

A session like this takes me about ten minutes. Time management is an issue. Most of my students are finishing up their final drafts while I’m working with individual students. I usually have them moving on to some other assignment that they can work on independently.

To end, here is a sample of a story written by a talented student who enthusiastically gave me permission to not only use his story, but his name too!

Schulz, The Greek Hero

By Wesley

Schulz, the Greek hero, was an amazing swordsman. He could split an arrow blindfolded. The king called Schulz to the castle. “What do you need, father?”

“I will have a feast tonight. All our soldiers are coming home.”

“Yes, Father. I will tell the cooks to prepare for the feast.”

         “Wait.”

“Yes, Father?”

“Go practice with your sword.”

As Schulz was walking he heard a voice. “Who’s there?” he said in shock.

“It’s me, Poseidon.”

“I can only hear you.”

“I know.”

“I must warn you the feast will be shocking.”

“I must go now, but I have so much to ask you.”

“The time will come. You must be going now.”

In shock Schulz walked away. While he was walking he thought about what he would say to his father. He heard something in the bushes. “Who’s there?”

“It’s me, your father. Come on.”

When Schulz walked in he saw many people. He asked one of the soldiers how it was. “Amazing.”

Right after that the king was going to say something when the castle shook. Then Hades appeared in the middle of the room and said, “I will send the Titan in one week.”

As he was speaking, Schulz said, “I will leave tomorrow morning and I will bring back Medusa’s head and kill the Titan.” The next day Schulz set off. Six days later he came back and saw the Titan. A monster with a man’s body, the tail of a snake, the head of a lizard, and the arms of an octopus. Schulz ran and showed the head of Medusa. The Titan collapsed and smashed into the sea. The crowd cheered. That night they had a feast.

Then Schulz heard Poseidon. “Hello, I know something,” Poseideon said. “I am your father.”