A Personal Narrative

A well written narrative is the result of clear thinking easily seen in good paragraphs. Kids need to develop an understanding of how to articulate their ideas in an organized way, especially when they are writing about real events. In a creative story paragraphs develop naturally with the plot. But in a personal narrative, it’s harder for kids to hone in on a few important points and expand on each of them. My goal for this week’s writing lesson, then, was to teach kids how to write a personal narrative in which their ideas were organized into traditional paragraphs. I did this lesson over two days.

The topic: My Best Friend
This tied into the Reading unit we just finished which focused on the theme of Friendship.

To start the lesson I handed each student a planning paper on which were four squares. Three of the squares were for drafting out paragraphs and the fourth was for a concluding sentence or two.  In each square there was a line for the main idea. Below that there were bullets for the details to go with each main idea. I used my document camera for modeling the lesson. After explaining the writing assignment I asked the class for input. We are going to write three paragraphs in our narrative. What should our three main ideas be?
The kids responded with the following ideas:
1. Description of your friend
2. How we met
3. Activities we do together

We wrote these main ideas on each top line of our four square planning paper. Then I asked the kids to suggest details for each idea. I selected responses to model, but reminded them that they could use their own details. Once I put up an example or two they were able to figure out details that were appropriate for them.

Now that we had a plan for the narrative, it was time to write out the three paragraphs. I reminded them that we needed a topic sentence followed by details.

We need to start with a sentence that introduces our best friend and also leads to a description. Any suggestions?
Silence. Sure they were thinking, but I could tell that they were struggling. So, on my modeling paper, I wrote:
My best friend, Jessica, is beautiful in every way.
This led to a little more excitement and a few kids raised their hands. Here’s a sample of their responses: Ryan is a wonderful friend in every way. Alice is my fantastic, best friend. John is kindhearted every single second.

After more ideas were shared everyone was able to get their first topic sentence written. I told them to look at the planning sheet and write out sentences for the details.

The next two paragraphs were accomplished in pretty much the same fashion. When I wrote out a topic sentence for the second paragraph, and asked for their own suggestions, I got no response. Not good. My sentence was: I met Jessica at my grandma’s house when I was four years old..
I resorted to my time tested strategy: bribery. I keep a jar of cookies in a cabinet for flat times in the classroom, such as now!
Okay, I’m looking for someone who can come up with a topic sentence that is better than mine. The class will vote and if they think it is better, you’ll get a cookie.
I could see some serious thinking suddenly going on. In a minute or so hands shot up.
I was two years old when I met John at his house.
Ann and I met on the first day of kindergarten.
Brooke and I met in first grade and we’ve been best friends ever since.

Everyone who shared, got a cookie!

We worked through the paragraphs quite efficiently. I modeled a concluding sentence and then encouraged them to come up with their own to end the narrative.

Often, when a teacher models to the extent that I did on this assignment, it is tempting for kids to just copy what they see. In this particular case I found that some kids did indeed write most of what I had written, but made sufficient changes to make it appropriate for them. I think a topic like this, though not wildly exciting like writing a Greek myth, is an excellent way to get kids comfortable with some essential writing skills. Since they were writing about something that they could easily relate to, it was easy for them to take a model and work with it to apply to themselves.

I think it’s fine for developing writers to copy good writing. It lowers their anxiety, but trains their brain to think like a writer.

I always try to edit the first draft of each kid before they do their final draft. I was very fortunate this time to have the help of a mom who had a lot of editing experience. Another wonderful thing that happened was that one of my four struggling writers didn’t need me! I partnered her with one of my strongest writers and this partner pretty much played my role. I was quite impressed with the result. So, by the end of the second session, most kids had finished writing their final drafts.

The Traditional Paragraph

This has been a pretty low key writing week.  My current focus is on teaching some writing conventions. In particular, third graders are required to have a good understanding of what a paragraph is.  They need to be able to distinguish between a main idea and supporting details. A traditional paragraph, I told them, has a topic sentence, which carries the main idea, followed by supporting sentences that expand on the main idea.

First, I explained the difference between a detail and a big idea. I wrote a variety of sentences on the board and asked if each was a big idea or a detail. When they said "big idea", I asked for supporting details. Together, we constructed a couple of clean, conventional paragraphs. In general, this concept seemed pretty easy for the kids to grasp. I don't teach them to include a concluding sentence, because most often this sentence is not needed in a paragraph. Kids would need to have a higher level of understanding before being able to decide whether to include a concluding sentence or not. So, no need to spoil their fun yet!

Next week I will have the kids write a short narrative using paragraphs that follow the traditional structure. Personally, I don’t like to get hung up on conventions. Eight year olds should be able to express their ideas and creativity in free form.  However, it is important to guide their  thinking so that their writing is coherent. Once they’ve had some practice with constructing good paragraphs, it will be easier later on to help them revise their creative writing. I'm not into using formulaic methods like the hand image (the thumb is the main idea, the fingers the supporting sentences, and the little finger the concluding sentence). An easily grasped concept doesn't need to be hammered into them! I should point out that even though kids get this, it doesn't translate into a) practice; b) being able to pick out the topic sentence from a group of sentences. 

Now,  a brief return to last week’s assignment and how I teach struggling writers.

While the class wrote out their final drafts of their Greek Myths, I worked with each of my four struggling writers individually. These four students had written first drafts that were pretty incomprehensible. A couple of these students knew what their story was, but couldn’t express it in writing.

This is what I do:

The student and I sit together at a table. He/she reads me their story. I rewrite it using simple sentences. I try to pare the story down to about six to eight sentences. If they have trouble reading their work (which may be a jumble of words lacking coherence)I ask them to tell me the story. With appropriate prompting I manage to get a story out, which I write down using their words.  I learned this method of teaching writing (the Language Experience Approach) back when I was doing coursework for my teaching credential. I have found it to be very effective – especially for students who are still developing English fluency.

On Monday my session with one of my students went like this:

Me: Who is the hero in your story?

Student: Sandy.

Me: Tell me about Sandy in a sentence.

Student: Sandy was a hero, was a brave hero.

Me: Sandy was a brave hero. I wrote the sentence down. What happened to Sandy?

Student: There was a monster and the mother was crying.

Me: The monster’s mother was crying?

Student: No. The monster took her kid away.

Me: Oh, so that was the problem in your story.  How about you make a sentence about the monster?

Student: A monster took a kid away.

I wrote down the sentence.

Me:  Where did the monster live?

Student: In a hill, in a cave.

Me: Now tell it to me in a sentence.

Student: The monster lived in a cave.

Me: So what have written so far? Let’s read it.

Sandy was a brave hero. A monster took a kid away. The monster lived in a cave.

Then what happened?

Student: Sandy went to the cave with a club.

I wrote down her sentence.

Me: Uh-huh? And?

Student: He saw the monster and killed it.

Me: Is that the end? What about the kid?

Student: Sandy took her back to the mother.

Me: Sandy took the kid back to her mother.(I wrote).

With a pleased smile the student took her story and final draft paper to her desk to copy the sentences that she had dictated and I had written.

A session like this takes me about ten minutes. Time management is an issue. Most of my students are finishing up their final drafts while I’m working with individual students. I usually have them moving on to some other assignment that they can work on independently.

To end, here is a sample of a story written by a talented student who enthusiastically gave me permission to not only use his story, but his name too!

Schulz, The Greek Hero

By Wesley

Schulz, the Greek hero, was an amazing swordsman. He could split an arrow blindfolded. The king called Schulz to the castle. “What do you need, father?”

“I will have a feast tonight. All our soldiers are coming home.”

“Yes, Father. I will tell the cooks to prepare for the feast.”

         “Wait.”

“Yes, Father?”

“Go practice with your sword.”

As Schulz was walking he heard a voice. “Who’s there?” he said in shock.

“It’s me, Poseidon.”

“I can only hear you.”

“I know.”

“I must warn you the feast will be shocking.”

“I must go now, but I have so much to ask you.”

“The time will come. You must be going now.”

In shock Schulz walked away. While he was walking he thought about what he would say to his father. He heard something in the bushes. “Who’s there?”

“It’s me, your father. Come on.”

When Schulz walked in he saw many people. He asked one of the soldiers how it was. “Amazing.”

Right after that the king was going to say something when the castle shook. Then Hades appeared in the middle of the room and said, “I will send the Titan in one week.”

As he was speaking, Schulz said, “I will leave tomorrow morning and I will bring back Medusa’s head and kill the Titan.” The next day Schulz set off. Six days later he came back and saw the Titan. A monster with a man’s body, the tail of a snake, the head of a lizard, and the arms of an octopus. Schulz ran and showed the head of Medusa. The Titan collapsed and smashed into the sea. The crowd cheered. That night they had a feast.

Then Schulz heard Poseidon. “Hello, I know something,” Poseideon said. “I am your father.”

Writing a Greek Myth

I can’t get over how excited my students were this week over their writing assignment. Of course, it took two weeks of priming to attain this. I mentioned in my first entry that children need to be exposed to high quality, high interest literature in order to develop their writing skills. We have been reading about the Greek Heroes from Greek Mythology these last couple of weeks. The kids have been completely captivated by the great adventures of Hercules and Perseus and Theseus. So, when I announced on Tuesday morning that they would be writing their own Greek myth they exploded with excitement.


I began the assignment on Tuesday and on Friday the kids wrote out their final drafts. Before describing the lessons, I should mention what my goals were.

1. I wanted my students to use their imagination and let out their creativity. The mechanics of writing – paragraphing, punctuation, etc., - were not important. I didn’t want their creativity hampered.
2. I want to develop in my students a love and enthusiasm for writing.


My lesson on Tuesday focused on the attributes of the Greek Heroes.

Think about the three heroes we’ve been reading about. Hercules, Perseus, Theseus. What qualities did they have that enabled them to accomplish what they did?
I then reread relevant paragraphs from a few of the stories. Because my students are third graders they needed to hear the descriptions again!

On chart paper, I listed their responses.

1. Strong
2. Fearless, brave, courageous.
3. Kind and good
4. Tall
5. Never gave up
6. Resourceful – used their surroundings to help create weapons
7. Smart, intelligent
8. Planned ahead
9. Enjoyed challenges
10. Believed in themselves – had self-confidence

Having this vocabulary displayed allows the kids to access vocabulary in their own writing.

Wednesday’s Lesson: The kids began writing their story today. To ensure that their stories contained all the essential elements of a story, I needed to have a pattern available to them.

I started the lesson as follows:

Each of the stories about the Greek Heroes followed a pattern. A pattern is something that repeats itself. What was repeated in each of the stories? What did each of the stories have in common?

I listed their responses on a chart:

1. The main character was a hero with unusual abilities.
2. The problem always involved a monster
3. The hero went on a journey to find the monster
4. Along the journey the hero met other characters who helped him solve the problem. 
5. Gods and goddesses appeared in most of the stories
6. At the end the hero returned with proof that he was successful.

Now, it’s time for you to start your story. First you will write a first draft. Have fun and don’t worry about spelling. I’ll help you fix your spelling when you are all done. Begin your story by describing your hero. I pointed to the chart we had created the day before with the descriptive vocabulary. Give your hero a name and use this chart to help you. After you have introduced your hero, the main character, write the rest of your story. You may use the pattern if you want, but you don’t have to.

Because I want kids to love writing I try to make the activity as stress free as possible. It was important to spend time discussing the pattern of the story. Many kids at this age haven’t written stories yet. For some kids it will all happen naturally. Others need concrete guidelines.

I definitely succeeded in instilling enthusiasm. The kids got right to work and I must say, it was a sight to behold.

On Thursday, at writing time, some kids were done with their first drafts and others needed more time. Each student took a turn to show me their completed story. I helped them fix their mistakes and praised them to no end. With pleased smiles they rewrote their story neatly, with correct spelling and punctuation.

It took me two mornings to get to every child. Having an individual conference with each student is quite challenging when you have a big class. It used to be so much easier when we had twenty kids back in the old days. Sigh! Sigh!

Anyway, at the end of the week I learned a whole lot more about my students. About fifteen of them wrote unbelievable stories, with sophisticated plotting and creative characterization. What impressed me most was their use of voice. I hadn’t mentioned it, or taught it to them. They got it – just by being exposed to excellent stories. Another 7 or 8 showed writing capability but pretty much copied the basic plot ideas from the stories we had read. I don’t have a problem with this. Not everyone is cut out to be a writer! As long as they can write coherent sentences and produce a beginning, middle, and end, there’s hope! Four or five of my students have quite a bit of difficulty creating coherent sentences. This isn’t unusual at all. At this age – 8 – some kids are developmentally behind their peers. Also, if a child’s first language isn’t English, writing can be a challenge. In my next blog I’ll let you know how I help the struggling writers. I’ll also discuss time management because that is a big issue too.

Journal Writing

It’s been a bit of a crazy week at school. Our district requires us to give benchmark assessments in the language arts and math at the start of the school year (and then two more times during the year). As a result my regular program was disrupted and I couldn’t do any formal writing activities. Once again this week I focused on journal writing. I must point out that in my class journal writing has quite a nontraditional meaning. Rather than being a personal record of the day’s activities, it’s more of an informal, creative writing exercise. I want kids to have the opportunity to write freely, without being hung up on correct spelling and how to structure their paragraphs the right way. I just want them to get used to the idea of capturing their free flowing thoughts on paper.

I teach third grade and they need a lot of guidance when it comes to writing. Sometimes I specify what their sentences should be about. At other times I leave it to them, but then I spend more time on discussion and modeling responses.

Journal writing for the week was as follows:

Monday: Describe what your weekend was like. Tell about:

1. A place you went to;
2. An activity you did;
3. A meal you ate;
4. A person or people you saw

I discussed the topic and clarified that a place was anywhere outside their house. The grocery store, the park, the beach, downtown, the shopping mall, a relative’s house, the pool, the movies, etc., were all places. This quickly eliminated the but, I didn’t go anywhere excuse! An activity meant reading, TV, movies, playing a game, shopping, etc. As was expected there were kids who had done particularly exciting things and wrote lots of detail. And others were able to at least write four sentences about their weekend.

A topic like this on a Monday morning is a great way to build a community spirit. Before I ask them to share their writing, I tell them about my weekend. They see me in more human terms and I get to know them better.

Tuesday: It’s the last day of August. In Santa Barbara, we are still very much in the middle of summer. What are some of your favorite summer activities?

After eight minutes I asked for volunteers to share. I give out stickers to kids who work seriously and share their ideas. After they earn ten stickers they get a treat. This acts as quite an incentive in a third grade classroom. As each child shared their favorite summer activity I wrote their idea on the board in a concise sentence that they articulated after creative prompting from me. When each new idea was presented I asked the student to vary the sentence.

Eg. I like going to the pool on hot days.

I enjoy walking my dog in the park.

Lemonade is a way for me to cool down.

After taking about six ideas I asked the kids to choose two ideas to copy in their journals. I am a firm believer that in copying good writing, kids develop their own writing skills.

Of course I exceeded my fifteen minutes of journal time, but given I wasn’t doing any other writing lessons, this was fine.

Wednesday: Qualities of a Good Friend

Think about what you like in a friend. For each quality that you come up with write a sentence.

As they wrote I walked around and tried to encourage kids who seemed a bit stuck. Eight minutes later it was time for them to share their ideas. Again I modeled sentences on the board, prompting them to vary each sentence.

Examples:

A good friend is someone you can trust.

I like a friend who cheers you up when you are sad.

A quality I like in a friend is kindness.

The kids came up with a number of suggestions. I was quite impressed. One student gave me this response:  I don’t like it when someone laughs at me. I asked her to look at the topic and rephrase her idea so that it fit with the topic. She couldn’t do it, but another very enthusiastic girl said: A good friend respects you.

“How about A good friend doesn’t laugh at you? I said.

They nodded and so I added that to the list on the board.

To conclude the session I asked the class to choose two ideas from the board and copy them in their journals.

Thursday: Think about things people do to annoy you. Write down a few examples. Then, tell what you do when someone does something to you that you don’t like.

This topic came about because of a few complaints I’d been getting from kids. Issues arose on the playground and I needed to address this.

I’m used to kids coming up with excuses. I fully expected someone to claim that nobody ever annoyed them. But, amazingly, everybody got to work.

At sharing time I embarked on a discussion of handling problems by ourselves.

So, not much of a writing activity!!!

Friday: This Week

On Fridays I have the kids reflect on their week. I tell them to write in their journals about:

1. Something they learned at school;
2. Something they enjoyed – either at school or at home or wherever;
3. Something they didn’t enjoy.

A discussion after they write helps them realize just how much they learned, and is a wonderful way to bring closure to the week.